“So you like burgers, huh?” She asked, raising her right eyebrow and pouting her glossy bouche.
The Fox nods, enthusiastically.
“Well then there’s only one place to go to in New York.” She states with goddess-like authority.
Gazing at the Fox with those fuck-me eyes that effortlessly pull him by the lapels, she lures him in and utters two words. “Shake Shack.”
I wrote about Five Guys not too long ago which is a New York burger staple. Rather luckily, I live right next door to one of these joints. However, I wasn’t greatly impressed by these guys so am still on the hunt for an impressive burger in the Big Apple.
And boy did I find some. Having not had a burger in a month, I decided to binge out this week.
The Shake Shack Attack
First up was the much coveted Shake Shack. If you ask anyone about burgers here in NYC, they will almost certainly direct you here. There a few of them dotted around, but I headed to the original in the park near Madison Ave. Queues extended pretty far for these babies. I went for the single Shack burger, fries and an ice tea (keep the the calorie count somewhat low). The burger was not really what I had expected. Thin patty-ed, small and densely packed. It was, however, delightful. Not too heavy, and in combination with the crinkly fries, made a perfect Saturday lunch.
Dirty Burger Joint Found in Posh Hotel
A most bizarre thing occurs in the Parker Meridian in midtown, Manhattan. When you enter, you will see a perpetual queue inside the concierge. No, it’s not the hotel lounge or the posh hotel restaurant. It is in fact a line for Burger Joint, a purposefully rustic burger joint.
Expect to wait a long time to be seated here during eating hours. The burger was of a thicker variety, more packed out than the Shack burger but somehow less satisfying. Fries very standard. Nothing to write home about.
Sliders at the Boom Boom Room
A rather in promptu experience. Most bars here serve food, and it is not uncommon to see lone rangers grabbing a beer and a bite at most nice bars. The Boom Boom Bar at the top of the Standard hotel in the Meatpacking district deserves its own post. This shimmering room resembles a treasure cave filled with gold.
The sliders here are sublime. Tender, melting meat with a subtle smoky scent. You get two of these in one serving but you are left wanting more.
The London Fox Goes to White Castle
Amid the sleepy roads of Williamsburg, Brooklyn at around 4am, the Fox spots a gleaming standalone white building. White Castle. He had to go.
10 sliders, 2 fries and a pack of chicken hoops. $10. What a bargain. However, this was a vastly disappointing experience. The burgers were a sloppy mess, packed with a thin slither of vomit-like spam meat. If there was anything else in there, it was overpowered by the flavour of diarrhoea. And the chicken hoops; why? Why are they hoop shaped? Onion rings are so because an onion cuts into rings. Chicken made into hoops serve no incremental benefit. Oh, and they also tasted like shit. The fries aren’t even worth mentioning. Thanks for the terrible recommendation, Harold and Kumar.
23rd & Madison
57th & 6th
Boom Boom Room
(Top of the Standard Hotel)
13th & Washington